Paw & Order script--available--yay!

I am giving the big-time agents who actually spoke to me first dibs, but my script is available. Email me if you have questions or thoughts. And email right this second if you have money to spend.

Hey, kid, you can direct.

Anyhow, I had the usual insecurities--writers are basketcases, you know. Was it funny? Was it fun? Now two people have read it and are screaming for me to write a sequel.

I will start notes on that on a second website-- http://pawandorder2.blogspot.com.

Come by.

PS I was serious about that money part. This site has gotten 1,400 look-sees. Surely someone wants to make a movie. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

First draft almost done--now what?

You know what they say in screenwriting--your last day of the script is your first day of the rewrite.

I am near to polishing this.

I have written twice to Dick Wolf, CEO of Wolf Films and creator of the iconic Law & Order franchise, and in typical H'wood fashion, he did not reply.

I have sent a color postcard to some animation houses. No response from that.

But this website has gotten 1200 hits--they can't all be in Norway or Russia.

My first step, I think, will be to return to the big agency who read my summary. But I am not there yet...stay tuned.

Let's talk music (just because we're not supposed to)

Even baby screenwriters know you don't suggest music or songs in a script. Rookie move.

But how about in a blog--which is sort of footnotes to the script?

I sort of trailed off the music scene (I was "with the band" once, though) in the late 80s, when my caretaking "career" began.

Now, I am shocked to learn, you can't play records or even cassette tapes. My audiobooks are on little players the size of stamps. Bah!

So, naturally, songs from the last century--catchy ones, ones that leave people humming like the custom songs like Under the Sea in the Little Mermaid--popped into my head.

Buzzy is a bee--so songs with sugar in them came to mind. I asked my sister for some. And my daughter, who is in her 30s.

I came up first with Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch (I Can't Help Myself") by the Four Tops. In 1966, it played all the time.

Sugar Shack. She loves him because he takes out the trash--those were simpler times--but fine for a kid movie.

Sugar Mountain by Neil Young.

My daughter came up with Suga Suga by Baby Bash--it's kind risque for the kid crowd...

Pour some Sugar on Me--Def Leppard--was another of hers--I don't think they mean, you know, real sugar. Also I think there is some gal's red thong in this one.

There is a chase scene--a cheetah and Buzzy--I thought of Wild Thing by the Troggs. But does Buzzy think he loves the cheetah--not right then, anyhow.

And there is a series of shots before the trial portion of Paw & Order--I thought of Sweet Dreams--and I like the guitar version by a guy from the Wayback, Roy Buchanan. I used to hear him in person around DC. He committed suicide. Maybe like Victor (see below)--his music could live on. Check him out on You Tube.

And I love "Zorba's Dance," from the movie, Zorba the Greek. It starts achingly slowly, then builds. There should be someplace for that in this film. YouTube--Zorba's Dance.

The two cops are in their car going from place to place in several scenes--there is eye candy out the window, they are bantering, but music might work.

The soundtrack of this would sell a ton!

But as I said, it's not up to the writer.

But the dreamer does what she wants.

Baybee--Queen of Buzzy's heart

Buzzy's wife is that rare combination of bee brains, loving Mom, and sexy earth mother with her unshaved legs.

With 950 children, she better be.

She can also handle her Danish-chomping husband and keep sweets on the table at all times.

She is best known for her charmingly furry legs, the better to snag pollen when she goes to the flower fields with the kids.

She is not the Queen of the hive, but she doesn't care--who wants to just lie there and lay eggs. Boring!

Detective Ricardo Lupine--yes, like the flower

Detective Lupine is a Mexican timber wolf--at least by ancestry. He is 58 in wolf years. His peeps--or should I say, "line"--came from New Mexico.

Like many German shepherd-like creatures, he has hip dysplasia--but refuses a replacement. Lupine may be big and bad and a cop--but doctors scare the pants off him.

Yes--pants. He wears clothes befitting a cop--meaning presentable but indifferent to the whims of fashion. I happened on a clip art pix of a wolf in officewear on the internet--but he awaits an animator to bring him to life.

His wife calls him Ric, but everyone else calls him Lupe ("Loop") or just try to keep their distance.

He can snarl and is cynical, although with his kids--three pups and two chicks--he is gruffly affectionate, although he does like to win over them at anything they play. You don't get a trophy from Lupe just for showing up.

Lupine's wife is a Rhode Island red--yes, a chicken--he met on A-Date. She described herself as a "hot chick." He saw what he wanted to see. That would be the "hot" part. Then he met her and by then, they had emailed so much, he was smitten.

Predator and prey--who's to judge?.

When Lupe first met his partner Buzzy, he was skeptical of working with a bee. The guy was so small, for one thing. But the advantages soon became apparent--Buzzy can fly so Lupine does not have to run and chase.

So the two set off each day--bantering and commenting on the passing scene as they search for the skell who stole the satellite dish.
.

Meet Sgt Buzzy

Yes, in the apian community, Buzzy is the equivalent of Smith in two-leggers. But there are so many bees, they had to simplify things.

Buzzy is 1--old in bee years. He has a blond crewcut, I mean, buzz cut.

He is too little to carry a badge--his partner Det. Lupine brings it along with his own.

Buzzy, shown here in available clip art holding an automatic weapon, actually carries no firearm--just his stinger (pun intended--they all are). And that is one-use-only. If he uses it, he dies. A review board is the least of his fears.

Buzzy is a cake-fueled genius--and he's quick with a quip.

He is also quite randy and has 950 kids--by his wife, Baybee, she of the comely hairy legs. More on her one of these days.

Buzzy and Lupine have been partners for six months. Lupine carries the badges and gun, but Buzzy is quick, compensating for the wolf's hip dysplasia.

"It's a bear growing old," the wolf often remarks.

How can a wolf be married to a chicken?

Talk about a mixed marriage! Predator and prey. But when the predator is a gentlemanly, old-school Mexican detective and the "prey," Henryetta, is a sassy Rhode Island red with saucy tail feathers, the old taboos fall apart.

The couple met on A-Date.com. She described herself as a "hot chick." They emailed. Then they met at 'Bucks...She was not a wolf, but by then he was smitten. And then, there were those tail feathers.

Married five years, the couple has a brood via special cross-species insem and it consists of three wolf pups and twin baby chicks.

Henrietta has her claws full chasing the "kids." But she has a sexy cluck, is sassy, and balances her quieter husband, using her management degree from Barnyard to run the howling, clucking household.

And the eggs come in handy.

I am a ready-fire-aimer

Andrew Carnegie used to say that ideas tumbled into his head like letters through a mail slot.

I assume he meant whole concepts. Such as: Make a lot of steel, build a lot of libraries.

I get frags. I dreamed the two animal cops--the wolf and bee--one night. Then the next, the title, PAW & ORDER.

And THEN, it occurred to me, awake at the time, that the wolf was probably Dick Wolf.

I am doing this anyway.

I also like Richard Scarry--those books I used to read my daughter with the hundreds of little pictures and among them, someplace, Lowly the Worm and a little Gold Bug for sharp-eyed kids to spot. I have a little "thing" in the script that will appear in or pass through many screens.

But...I am revealing too much...back later.

Edgy?

When I was writing screenplays 20 years ago, I had a low-tier agent who would not even give me a ride to the airport.

Now, I have a rejection by a top agent. They said my concept of Paw & Order was too edgy for the animation "space," by which they meant part of the filmmaking spectrum taken up by cartoons.

My story involves a lost satellite dish, not a war between a leather-clad babe and some bad guys, as part of Wreck It Ralph does. Now she was a little edgy, not to mention a slut pup.

I am heading for a gag-every-five-second pace, a la Robin Williams in the old days. Maybe Royale with Cheese type exchanges (no carfuls of brains, promise).

I dreamed the teaser opening (you know, like Law & Order does) last night. In truth, I dreamed most of this script.

My subconscious has more fun than I do.

But didn't you sense that?

Stay tuned.

They say: Write crazy giraffe stuff you know

In my script Paw & Order, there is a giraffe named Victor.

His name comes from a group I belonged to in Washington DC several decades ago--the Victor Invictus Society.

It started in a regular Friday night salon at a design firm--people brought a bottle and sometimes the fun lasted all night, other times half an hour.

During one session, it came up that Victor, the giraffe at the London Zoo, had died trying to please his mate Arabella--he fell--and with the long neck, could not breathe lying down. The Royal Navy showed up with a sling, but it was too late for Victor.

The Victor Invictus Society was born--complete with lapel pin showing a dead giraffe in a sling. I still have mine someplace.

Victor--you are not forgotten. You will live again.